Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
