Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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