Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
