just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i think my cat just said my name.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
