idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
