hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
