Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
