its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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