Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I didn't shave. On purpose
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
