I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
