Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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