apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
