this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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