): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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