My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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