So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
