i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she looked like the before picture.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
