I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
