Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
