I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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