i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Mom said you looked used
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
