Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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