idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
