i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize