It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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