hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ttyl tear gas
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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