STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
