While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize