Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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