Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I enjoy the company of your penis
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
