In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
