Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
