That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
