The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
