spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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