I don't think brook has ever known best
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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