Just cropdusted the office
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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