help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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