Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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