I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
