Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
