It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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