Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
