walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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