There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
