What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
