I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize