I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
