Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
