Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
