I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
