69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
