It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize