who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
