He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
