I just threw up on my dentist
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My bed smells like the plague
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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