Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
