Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
