I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
