apparently the secret to your success is patron
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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