There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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