the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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