So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
