dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
