isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
