Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
