can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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