K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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