Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
