Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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