who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize