Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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