i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
