She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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