My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
